President Obama, backed by his team announced that he strongly supports the idea that many American citizens (including encroachers) should attend college and hence there’s a need for taxpayers to fund grants and loans. I find this plan faulty and propose something’s that’s best.
From what I understand, the students who Obama has in mind are shirkers and duffers or people who are otiose or dumb to get to attend a college and America has no dearth of them! Although Obama isn’t bothered if they are lazy or dumb, what he cares is the vote bank.
I don’t want to spend a penny of my tax in proving or providing education to adults who cannot attain a degree in an age where grades seem to touch the sky. I have an intelligent and economical plan for such a population that is currently under merited by such colleges. What we really need to do is to enforce the Five-minute University, first proposed by Father Guido Sarducci.
If you think that I am kidding then I am not. There are plenty of people who attend colleges but it’s very obvious that President Obama cannot notice that. I have a better proposal for him, let us make such people attend such colleges for less than two weeks and give them important pointers to keep in mind and grant them a degree and they can carry on with their life! My plan would not only save the student his money but time as well.
If you think that, these students wouldn’t learn much then it’s no different from those students who spend a lot of their time and money learning anything that’s of significance. Father Sarducci says that one can learn in five minutes which all students remember post 5 years.
What do those students who study in specialized subjects like film, communications, or any other subject that has a study attached to it exactly remember and learn? Even if they concentrated and preserved such knowledge in their minds as memory then what’s its value? All I feel it’s worth is about five minutes of tuition. Studies reveal that 31% college pass outs are capable of reading and comprehending a composite book.
More such studies reveal that only 62% graduates were working in jobs that require degree and just 55% were working in a job pertaining to their specialization. Wonder why, at all such students even attempt a college degree? This data tells me that a fast course degree is much better and I can put these graduates to some productive purpose like mowing my lawn!
There is one substantial advantage that these Five-minute graduates get over a normal college graduate and that is a six-figured loan. In addition to this, the graduation rate of students of my five minute university is 100% compared to the pathetically low graduation rate of 56.1% of college graduates.
If you agree with me then do call the Congressmen and pursue them to pass a bill that routes a few millions that it’s currently extending to the federal student loan policy to fund my Five Minute Universities nationwide and printing diplomas. What, about the remaining money you ask? Well I propose that it can be returned to the rightful taxpayers.
The president would be happy and so would we! What say people?
